Thursday, November 6, 2008

Old Smuggler Blended Scotch Whisky

Purveyor of leather aftertastes and atrocious hangovers.

Despite its seemingly benign smell, it’s a fucking punch in the throat. It tastes like, to quote a friend, “oil and herpes.” This scotch whisky slides down your throat and molests the hell out of your tastebuds. Mixing this with coke won’t save you from the awful flavor, so your best bet is to take shots. Actually, you should probably just get drunk first on other, less offensive alcohol in anticipation for this throat destroyer.

I’ve tried more methods of salvaging unpalatable alcohol than are reasonable; mixing with various colas, doing an ice-cold shot, mixing it with a big-gulp cup of holy water (thanks for nothing Our Lady of Divine Suffering), you name it. If you can find a mixer that neutralizes whatever demon lives inside this bottle, tell a priest.

Never again. $11/liter.

- Mike

1 comment:

albina N muro said...

It tastes like, to quote a friend, “oil and herpes.” This scotch whisky slides down your throat and molests the hell out of your tastebuds. chardonnay wine